Hey everybody! Usually, this is where I introduce a new freeware game to you, but this week I have a different idea: let's take a roadtrip. I mean, it's the holiday season, I'm sure we've all got vacation time saved up at work, or time off from school if that's your thing, and none of us are getting any younger.

I hear Oregon is nice this time of year. Yeah, Oregon! I've got this covered wagon sitting out back that isn't getting any use; we could hitch an ox or two to that thing and I bet we'd be there in only a few months. Sure, some of us will probably get dysentery, and fording some of those rivers can be a bitch, but once you get there... hunh. You know, actually, I never really thought about it, but once you get there, you're just in Oregon. I mean, you risked disease and death in a rickety stinking wagon for months, and you went to Oregon? Tell you what...

This is going to be a brief writeup, because there isn't a whole lot you need to know about F* Oregon, Let's Go Find El Dorado (which from this point on I will abbreviate as "So Long Oregon", which is what appears in the window title when you launch the game). It's the touching story of Pa, Ma, Boobell, John-Boy and Zeke - yes, really - a hapless wagon-bound crew desperately in need of your protection on their journey, which plays out very similarly to the quite familiar classic, Oregon Trail.

...Okay, that was obviously a complete and total lie. So Long Oregon plays out the way Oregon Trail might, if it were actually a reskinned version of Excitebike. A randomly generated set of mountains, towns, Indian villages and rivers present themselves on a scrolling track, across which you will haphazardly bounce your way to success or - much more likely - dismal failure.

Tipping your wagon upside down and being unable to right it again will lead to an injury for one of your family ("Pa has broken an arm!" or, much harder to connect with an upside-down wagon, "John-Boy has typhoid!"), but the absurd and hilarious physics engine ensures that your hundreds-of-miles-per-hour 720-degree flips will land on their wheels as often as not. Also hilarious: the oxen noises whenever your wagon has a particularly harsh landing, or hits an obstacle it can't surmount. Poor oxen. The towns, trading posts, etc along the way will help you... unless they don't. Survive long enough, and El Dorado awaits! Or so you've been told. I don't want to spoil what you'll find at the ending.

So Long Oregon was a competitor in the 16th Ludum Dare contest, in which a game must be entirely completed in 48 hours. It was the entry of Justin Smith ("crackerblocks"), who also wrote Enviro-Bear 2000 for TIGSource's Cockpit Compo, if you happened to catch that when the internet was giving it love earlier this year (and if you didn't, you should). Voting on Ludum Dare entries is currently ongoing, and I am not eligible to vote - only competitors are - but while I haven't played most of the other entries, I have to imagine this is a strong contender.

F* Oregon, Let's Go Find El Dorado is...

  • absolutely ridiculous.
  • good for several laughs.
  • occasionally frustrating, but over too quickly for it to matter.
  • a tiny download you should not miss, especially if you grew up playing Oregon Trail.

The download for this will only set you back a few MB - Windows only. Go check it out here.

"Free And Worth Every Penny" is a column I collaborate on with Mike Bellmore at Immortal Machines. This piece also appears there.

Posted
AuthorEric Leslie